November 8, 2012

3 first steps to setting healthy boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is a necessity for anyone traveling down the recovery path.

For many setting boundaries is an intimidating task, which is usually also complicated by an addiction’s impact on former relationships. your familial, personal and work relationships, boundaries have to be set. If not, you may feel powerless, unsure of relationships, unheard, overwhelmed — or you could make someone else feel like that. Without healthy personal boundaries, there’s no focus.

Britt Bolnick offers three tips on Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Complex Lives that everyone needs to take first to begin to set healthy boundaries.

1. Check your personal engine light.

More easily explained, this means taking an inventory of your feelings regarding another person. Think about how you feel when you’re around someone who drains you and upsets you. How does this feel in your body? How does it feel in your mind? These feeling are life your car’s check engine light—a signify of something bigger, something that’s wrong.

Bad feelings are like your personal security system warning that your personal energy field has been breached, and you’re letting in stuff that isn’t yours. Now, decide to do something about it.

2. Ground yourself as preparation for maintaining boundaries.

Bolnick says grounding is akin to the way a tree sinks her roots to stay secure in a storm. It’s the first tool in creating healthy boundaries—nurturing a connection with ourselves, our centers. Here are some grounding ideas that only take 5 minutes a day:

·         Meditating

·         Saying a prayer, affirmation, or mantra in the shower in the morning

·         Offering a blessing over your morning meal or beverage

·         Chanting or repeating affirmations in your head as you walk to work or school

3. Notice the people and places that tend to drain you and form a personal bubble.

If in a situation with people who you have recognized don’t respect your boundaries, take note and then take a few minutes to imagine breathing a bubble of protective energy around you. Think of it as a space that will only allow love and positivity inside it, deflecting anything else. Really see it and really feel the force of it around you. Then decide what you need to do to maintain that space.


Learning to set healthy boundaries

Good boundaries are the best way to prevent resentment

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