By Christine Campbell
I am a woman in long term recovery, truly grateful for all I have been given. It was a long, hard road as many of us have experienced, but I know today I am truly blessed and have beat the odds that many said could not be done. I celebrated two years this past January and I am amazed.
I was accepted to Hazeldens Grad school about six years ago. One of the professors was discussing “numbers” that they focus on. One is that people with no family support or involvement are zero to remain sober. Not true. I am one! All things are possible with God and spiritual family.
Now, this took me 10 treatment centers, tons of consequences and numerous “ole timers” and sponsors stepping in and loving me with firm guidance when I crawled into the rooms once again. I was 92 pounds, had another broken leg, and near death – spiritually dead for sure.
Getting sober without family and friends is a rarity for sure – but zero? No. I am one. Look at me. Hear me. I am not alone. I spot the alcoholics in a room, but also the motherless children. The laundry list of Adult Children of Alcoholics provides a map for living until we find our way. Isolated and afriad, we seek apporval but lose our identity in the process. We become alcoholics or marry them or both. We live life from the victim viewpoint and are attracted to that weakness in relationships. We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and become more concerned about others than self.
I raised my brother until I was 40! Anybody else?
We confuse love with pity. We are addicted to excitement. We stuff our feelings and marry others and nurse them. We stuff our traumatic feelings from childhood and have lost the ability to feel or express as it is too painful. We are dependent types who fear abandonment and we are reactors.
When I turned 40 and was around four years sober. Someone encouraged me to throw myself a birthday party. I was reluctant and comfortable in the pity – but I went ahead. Every single person at my Westside group showed up, with their kids, dogs, gifts and food. It was so awesome.
I everntually devloped some traditions of my own. Gypsy Thanksgivings I call them – a place to go for those who have nowhere else. For those who need an ear after the family disaster they just attended. There are so many to talk with, many that encourage and applaud when I make it another year.I have been touched by many and hope I have returned that love. I sponsor, am of service and am a member in good standing.
You are not alone, you are not bad, you are not broken. You are part of the Divine.